Keys To Valor in a Pandemic
▼Ultimate Keys To Mental Toughness & Self Management: COVID-19 Edition▼
Scientists: How To Ward Off COVID-19 ⬆ Self-Management iQ ⬆ Images Hyperlinked
MISCELLANEOUS WRITINGS | 2020 EDITION | VOLUME 42
Are you suffering? Depressed? Anxious? Stressed out in self-isolation, quarantine, or under lockdown?
I was recently asked to comment on a video in which a privileged marketer spent over 40 minutes drilling their personal belief — or pitch — that “people are suffering” into the minds of viewers.
Yet one seemingly insignificant question that kept returning in the one week or so that I allowed that video to play on shuffle was:
Where was this video before the pandemic?
Where was the video — which does more to 'catastrophize' than energize and motivate for which reason, forgive me for not providing a link — when the Novel Coronavirus was wreaking havoc in China, East Asia and Italy?
Basking in drama is easy. But that's not where the answers are.
That's not where the secrets of grit regarding how fragile life and interdependent the world is, lay.
Reality, or suffering, is not what's trending, what people are googling, or the latest distraction on local news.
As a content creator — 'John the Baptist online' as one mentee called me — who predicts threats, issues alerts, mitigations and solutions through #iTHiNKLabs and my blog, you remember all the ignored warnings. All the wrong things people direct their attention to, not realizing their lifestyle (of indulgence) endangers not just themselves, but importantly, their disabled, aging, helpless, vulnerable, dependents. The same ones exposed to the ruthless cruelty of COVID-19 ignorance.
Am I suffering?
Sure, I am. But just as all blogs are not created equal, all suffering is not equal.
Others are in worse shape.
Always remember that. Whatever your current circumstances.
Yet one copes better because solid foundations were laid long before the pandemic. And those foundations include embracing the world as it is, and resolving to always adapt to changing circumstances so long as one has breath.
Importantly, the investment of nurturing strategic bonds and relationships masterminded by next-level, mentally strong reliable allies with similarly strong values that fortify our efforts — especially when you can't successfully train or persuade loved ones to get on board — doesn't become apparent until crises like this pandemic strikes and everybody and everything around you starts cracking.
Although you may be reading this during the Novel Coronavirus pandemic, the valor I speak of, like solid relationships, can't be perfected overnight. The requisite mentality and foundation requires vigilant and consistent maintenance. And in that sense, even I learned the hard way.
For personal, introspective proof that the above is not theory, consider the seemingly dwindled options below, then —to the degree you're willing to be honest with yourself — reconcile that with your comparably better options, bearing (Part 1 of) this year's Ultimate Financial Advice in mind.
For the unimaginative and naive, 老子 (Lao Tzu) below is here to stimulate and help you connect the dots as I share some anecdotes. And I do that, mind you, not to be condescending at a time when Americans are being offered mind-numbing journalism couched in pop "psychology" to justify face mask stupidity, and the New York Times' own Tom Friedman rightly laments the state of weak intellectual rigor, I'm aware that too many people will misinterpret anecdotes like the below.
Just as my own Mainland Chinese best friend denied the reality of the toxicity of our neighbors until she was driven into depression by them.
So, whatever your profession or expertise, marketer or not, Chinese or not, the valor I speak of in this pandemic begins with recognizing reality.
I went from sleeping in peace and luxury; designing and working in tranquility for years to finding myself sandwiched between the most toxic, uncouth, unscrupulous, xenophobic neighbors ever.
Besides being trapped, unable not just to travel in a pandemic but knowing its better to stay 'home' because, as a foreigner and black person in a police state at a time when when black people were being evicted from their homes and denied services as customers, one never knew IF he'd even be allowed BACK into the same gated community or building they left minutes or hours prior.
From above, they'd begin and end their days by dropping loud objects, harassing us with fake construction-grade noise, sometimes goading us into playing loud music, white noise or anything that they then used — no joke — as cover for loud sex.
The first time I discovered the latter, I went from feeling stupid, to feeling used, to feeling violated, and many more emotions. Until their weakness and cowardice — such as timing cruel acts including banging on walls or trying to distract me when I was cooking to coincide with when they thought I was sleeping, conversing; laughing on a call — confirmed Seneca's axioms below:
Most notably: “All cruelty springs from weakness.”
Continuing, from the floor below meanwhile, the neighbor whom I'd heard fighting, a toxic woman yelling, being beaten by a man who appeared to come and go, and a dog repeatedly being abused — traumatic enough for any animal lover — slamming doors so violently and suddenly, my Mainland Chinese friend spoke of almost getting a heart attack from the sudden disturbance while I was away in the U.S. and she was asleep in the selfsame apartment.
The same Chinese neighbor made it a daily ritual to poke my office (from below) with an object sure to jolt you out of any flow state, positive mental state, sleep, dream, or even nightmare.
So, how did overcome all that toxicity and keep working, researching, and creating content and solutions that require intense focus?
I never did. I adapted.
I managed stress.
No, it's never easy.
You know what is? Fussing.
Yet one way to transcend that, is to always remind yourself:
So, I fuss(ed) less, spoke less, yet prepared more, in pursuit of better.
I didn't pick the neighborhood or apartment. But I bore 100% responsibility for my bad career decision(s) having allowed myself to be headhunted there.
Hence, constantly switching which part of the apartment I slept in — occasionally even sleeping and working in my bathroom — was among many sanity tactics. For, like the indomitable jaguar, all apex predators have hits and misses too, out in the wild.
Even the jaguar, has reason to avoid a gang of giant otters.
I lived 24/7 with white noise, often with noise-cancelling headphones protecting whatever small measure of peace I had left, to write blogs like this one. With a separate sound system generating noise (podcasts, motivational content, news, music, etc. to discourage interference and/or harassment of, or with my flow (or state of mind) while I did high-level thinking work.
Not all remote workers enjoy a tranquil environment.
From new parents hustling remotely to noisy roommate situation, I learned the hard way that there are much worse levels. And unless you're mentally strong and either creative or flexible, no expert can help you.
If like me, you're a minimalist who practices the Art of Ruthless Efficiency, then instead of wasting money on any white noise hardware or software, at some point, you'll probably conclude as I did, that the only effective (Youtube-downloadable) file you need is:
"Mountain Rain & Thunderstorm Sleep Sounds - Ambient Noise For Sleep & Meditation, @Ultizzz day#36".
I deleted all the other ones I tried.
To avoid lacking that luxury with no backup, sharpen your samurai code, and mode before it's late:
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If in a toxic environment with neighbors, then you're not done. You must know how to escape stupidity online as well as in the physical world.
You need good, at least 2.1 speakers playing some other "decoy music" to throw them off.
In my case, I learned my toxic neighbors hated hip hop/trap/dancehall, or generally, heavy bass or aggressive music. Play classical music, new age, soft rock, nature/bird songs, etc. and they always — apparently determined to be killjoys dying to project negativity and assuming I was sleeping or meditating — dropped obnoxious fake noise.
So, whatever your unique circumstances, adapt accordingly. Try different things. Repeat what works till you're forced to tweak or intensify your deterrence regime. Mix it up. Stay inspired and positively focused. Click/tap:
Moreover, as you've seen, the average reader sleeps in relative peace, enjoying vivid dreams, etc. while being a spectator on TV or social media. Hence, the above solution and insight are for those who aren't so fortunate.
Convinced they are "suffering" the average self-absorbed person skips life-saving, career-enhancing content unaware of the conditions under which such quality content is baked, even while the same mentor thousands of miles across the globe.
In other words, people have web-enabled smartphones and big TVs yet give precious attention to what matters little: That “coronavirus live updates” or Trump press briefing feed or trend or so-called influencer telling you how worse things are getting, how much of a victim you are, whatever their agenda, isn't going to make you better.
I have no interest in trivializing, dismissing your suffering, or making an academic issue out of it.
But rather than advising you to avoid people who do that, a better advise would be, as below:
Rather than misinterpreting and seeking or entertaining only “people who uplift you”, the more balanced — remember, he talks about foolish people loving indulgence while wise people “resist them” for better self-mastery — one way to get the most out of Epictetus (above) is to keep your ego constantly in check.
This is the hallmark of a person with Advanced Personal Leadership skills.
Majority of the privileged who are currently mentally suffering lacked deep perspective before the pandemic. They were, in other words, insular. Unaware of how considerably blessed they are.
You wouldn't want to be trapped in a tiny room without face masks, — with 20 or more people. Yet from filthy prisons, to refugee camps and slums, people are.
Others were already under house arrest or, like the author, self-imposed house arrest long even before.
How did they cope?
Is CNN, BBC, the New York Times and others covering that in a way that shines the spotlight on solutions and mental fortitude rather than merely exploiting other human beings' adversity as a story?
Harassed by racist, spoiled, toxic, uncouth neighbors, hosts, and law enforcement with no scruples 24/7. Abused with impunity by hosts who know their guests are trapped or undergoing economic hardship, pregnant African women are being disallowed entry into hospitals in China.
When I talked about discontinuing leisurely walks, jogs, or non-essential outings since 2017 in China, it was inconceivable to denialists.
Until April 2020, when horror stories started pouring out of Guangzhou in particular.
Learn to accept, rather than deny reality.
Denialism is a hallmark of weak minds. And weak people don't cope well in difficult times, because mentally, they were never prepared. They live a lie until the shock is costly and even at times, fatal.
Did my self-confessed 'claustrophobic' American host whom I helped for years without billing when he needed my help care before abusing his guest?
No.
Just like Mainland Chinese abusing foreign guests, expats from primarily African countries known to host (and I've seen them myself) Mainland Chinese enjoying both enviable freedom and prosperity, free from wickedness, cruelty and the suffocating thumb of high-tech surveillance and propaganda.
As history repeats itself, remember Viktor Frankl.
Decide which side you want to be on. Because billions of lives are now in limbo because of COVID-19.
Many millions more were, even before the pandemic. And remembering that frequently is the first step to clarity and not allowing this once in a lifetime or century pandemic to make you a loser, a depressed mess, or a heartless host. Click feature image (above) for in-depth insight.
My COVID-19 resources (2 among the most searched on Google) have already saved lives that I'll never meet. Survivors in much better economic and material circumstances than mine. And that's what matters.
Yet we miss out when we lack Advanced Personal Leadership skills, and as a consequence, lose sight of the true test of character in a pandemic, or adversity.
As you've probably already noticed, even in the United States, the character of Donald Trump as a "leader" has been laid bare by the pandemic.
Moreover, the average marketer, entrepreneur, Joe or Jane waits for Trump, Oprah, Bill Gates or some TV personality or so-called influencer before they take anything seriously.
More than COVID-19 itself, lack of responsiveness has killed many, — because mediocre minds seek leadership, USEFUL journalism, solutions and health security in all the wrong places.
This too, creates suffering, even for the wealthy and privileged.
For, as you'll see (when you click/tap the feature image), if you live in America, or rich West, you ARE privileged.
The trick is to not allow snowflake media to soften you.
Like success, one best-kept secret about life is the fact that like COVID-19, life's most critical issues are time-sensitive.
Only good Advanced Personal Leadership skills ingrains solid priority management, — which alone enables you to ride COVID-19 like a determined Bison in a storm as the mediocre chase what doesn't matter, like cows seeking comfort on social media, where profiteering is rampant.
The biggest American and Western pandemic is lack of clarity and Roman-era indulgence. A disease I used to think only my family had. And COVID-19 just exposed it.That's why Americans and Westerners are focused on social distancing, — a term virtually no Mainland Chinese or average East Asian was latching onto weeks and months ago.
When you lack clarity, it means you lack solid strategic self-management. So, not surprisingly, Americans waste precious human capital and time on divisive things not debated in pragmatic societies: gun ownership, partisanship, affluence politics with a self-indulgent electorate that wakes up to treat national security and national health security as an entertainment and spectacle.
Many who took life, local politics and geopolitics too casually and ignored wisdom — not pointing fingers, just speaking strictly from decades-long experience and based on hard data — were, and continue to be among COVID-19's easiest casualties and victims.
My own shaken but healthy 80-year-old mother — who weeks ago casually called me to report seeing Chinese in New York buying produce to send to relatives in back in China instead of using that time to get face masks, etc. and prepare — is currently hunkered down without any, introspecting, wondering how long she'll keep ignoring good advice, depending on TV and insular U.S. news, Trump, etc. rather than her own well-informed son who survived not just original epicenter, but countless adversities in life.
Nationally, commercially, individually, the future belongs to the clear-headed. Not the stoned. Not the casual. So, quit living casually and urgently seize your destiny.
Or, as TD Jakes warns here: “Learn something from a butler. Many people mess up their destiny because they are [too] busy looking for important people that they step past people who HAVE the door...”
Finish below. Go forth, and be strong.
For consultation (strict confidentiality guaranteed), click/tap here here. To follow me, here.
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Ninja & Samurai Mode (Follow the Dove) ▼ Advanced Personal Leadership Series X29
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